The Psychology of Wellbeing

Stop Trying to Motivate your Employees! (Self-Determination Theory at Work)

Jeremy McCarthy — Tue, 15 May 2012 11:47:25 +0000

Stop Trying to Motivate your Employees! (Self-Determination Theory at Work), from The Psychology of Wellbeing

Most managers think that motivating employees is the #1 part of their job. Or they make the distinction between managers, who attempt to get things done by delegating and motivating employees through incentives and discipline, and leaders, who create a compelling vision and motivate employees through empowerment and inspiration. But everyone seems to feel that motivating employees is the critical aspect of any supervisory position.

If I think about my own work/career history, however, this theory of management does not really jibe with reality. In most jobs that I have held, I was already motivated to perform well, before I ever even cracked open a training manual. My manager had very little to do with it. And I think most people are hard-wired this way. (See Jim Collins talking about this here.) Most of us want to be successful and we want to spend our work hours doing good work towards a meaningful pursuit.

Rather than thinking about how to motivate employees, managers should recognize that people show up to work motivated on day one, and think about eliminating the things they do that strip away motivation over time. How is it that so many organizations hire winning employees and gradually turn them into apathetic zombies by the end of their first year on the job?

This theory of workplace motivation is consistent with a theory of human psychology known as “self-determination theory” (SDT), based on the work of Edward Deci and Richard Ryan. Self-determination theory proposes that humans are inherently motivated. We have natural tendencies to want to learn, grow, master our environments, and integrate new experiences into who we are (you’ll often hear me talk about “work/life integration” rather than “work/life balance”.)

According to SDT, these natural tendencies are a part of healthy human behavior, but they can be thwarted if certain psychological needs are not met. The theory (and supporting research) show three “nutriments” that are required for healthy human functioning and motivation: autonomy, competence and relatedness. If conditions don’t allow for these needs to be fulfilled, intrinsic motivation dies, much like the plant on my office desk when I forget to give it water and daylight.

So how can businesses and organizations ensure that these needs are being met in a way that encourages and facilitates their employees’ natural motivations to come to bear? The best way to answer this question may be to look at examples of highly successful companies that are ensuring that the basic needs for autonomy, competence and relatedness are being met in their organizations:

Autonomy:

Zappos has become famous for creating a culture that is filled with freedom of individual expression. One of their core values is to hire workers that are “fun, and a little weird” to emphasize the importance of individuality.

Best Buy’s corporate employees work in a “Results Only Work Environment” ROWE. This means nobody cares how, when, or where the employees work, only what they accomplish.

Similarly, Netflix announced it was allowing its corporate employees to take vacation whenever and as often as they want (as long as they deliver results,) adopting a strategy that IBM took a few years earlier.

Google introduced “20% time” allowing their workforce to spend one fifth of their time focused on whatever projects they want to work on (even if it is something beyond their job description.)

A page from the Valve handbook

Software company Valve says their employees get “100%” of their time to work on whatever they want. Their new employee handbook went absolutely viral as an example of a new business model based on complete autonomy. As an example, their employees’ desks have wheels so that people can sit wherever they want and work with (and next to) whomever they want.

Competence:

Lululemon’s workplace culture is based on the idea of “goal setting.” Employees are specifically trained and coached on how to accomplish goals (including their own personal ones unrelated to the business demands of the company.)

Zappos changed their entire hierarchy so they could break their career path into smaller steps. They knew that employees would be happier with small promotions every six months than they would with big promotions every two years. People need to feel a sense of progress.

According to Chip and Dan Heath in “The Myth of the Garage,” Hindustan Unilever expects senior managers to spend 30-40% of their time in grooming the people below them. They also have executives change roles every two to three years so they are always learning different aspects of the business.

Relatedness:

I was recently at an Apple Store when every employee in the store broke into a standing ovation for ten minutes to celebrate the transfer of one of their colleagues to a new store. I don’t know how much of this was company policy, company culture, or just the unique dynamic of this particular employee leaving this particular store, but for her the “relatedness” score must have been through the roof as they all lined up to give her a hug and cheer her on for her next role.

Zappos (again!) sets up their company headquarters so there is only one ingress and egress—a way to force spontaneous interactions between employees. They also forego the traditional password based logon into their computer system for one that quizzes employees on their ability to identify pictures of co-workers. They track their employees’ ability to identify colleagues as an engagement measure for the whole company.

These examples highlight companies that, whether they are aware of it or not, are applying the principles of SDT to allow the intrinsic motivation of their workforce to come shining through. Each of these companies happens to be highly successful, rated highly by both employees and customers.

If you have other examples of companies that are fostering autonomy, competence and relatedness, I would love to hear about them!

by Jeremy McCarthy

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Learn more about my online course on positive leadership here.

On Love and Breakdancing

Alden Tan — Fri, 11 May 2012 11:44:57 +0000

On Love and Breakdancing, from The Psychology of Wellbeing

Alden Tan is a young rockstar blogger (26 years old) who reached out to me interested to share his thoughts on The Psychology of Wellbeing. After getting to know him a bit, I found his passion for life infectious and was inspired by his commitment to chase his dreams. If you like what he shares below, then check out the raw, unedited version of Alden on his blog or sign up for his free email course on how to stop caring about what others think!

Being a Bboy is awesome.

I mean, everybody thinks we are cool. We are spinning on our heads, we are flipping and twisting in the air and more often than not, that means having a crowd around us clapping and cheering for us. The feeling is exhilarating!

But you know something? Beneath this exterior of dynamic movements and gravity-defying stunts lays a very deep persona that stands for so much more. To cut it short, what lies beneath is all love.

Love for yourself.

Love for the world.

And love you can bring to those around you.

Maybe that sounds a little unrealistic or “hippie” to you, but let me explain how this love works with a short lesson on Bboying and its history.

The colourful culture of Hip Hop has four basic elements—Bboying, Graffiti, Emceeing and DJing. Hip Hop has a history that focuses on expression of the self and, more importantly, a culture that promotes love, unity, and passion.

It’s a peaceful culture, for real.

The term Bboy means “Break Boy” in that a Bboy dances to the “breaks” of a record. A Bboy, besides pushing himself on the dance floor, also extends the culture of Hip Hop to his everyday life. This is how I found my passion for life.

A lot of people have this huge misconception about passion. They think of passion as a hobby or just something they kind of have an interest in. It’s way more than that.

Passion is that special feeling inside of you that burns and sets you alive. It’s that undeniable feeling that makes you feel everything is right in the world, and you know for sure you’re doing something great with your life.

When I am dancing, nothing else matters. Work, studies, money, career, relationship woes and basically the rest of world just don’t matter. In those moments, I have love and a sense of identity.

As a Bboy, I feel totally special. I feel like I belong to a group of individuals who belong to an even greater Hip Hop Culture. Maybe you’d call this escapism, a way out of reality. But think about this:

How often in life are you able to feel completely at bliss, where real clarity of who you are actually comes to life?

How often do you get to feel a certain kind of love for yourself and something that gives you purpose and meaning in life?

You’d be surprised how far passion can take you. It’s important because, sadly, I see many people who seem constantly lost.

If you’re one of them. Find a passion. Try out all sorts of different things and activities. If something stirs you up in a way you never thought possible, that could be passion calling out to you.

You know how in life “gurus” and motivational speakers are preaching positivity and loving life? This is easier said than done, for sure. But I keep coming back to passion, which brings forth the best feelings in the world.

It’s my own personal belief that as long as you follow your heart and do what you love, good things in life will automatically come out.

Some people call this “the law of attraction” but I don’t see it that way. I call it following your heart; just going with the flow of great feelings. It is, without a doubt better than always worrying, over-thinking and having crazy expectations for the future.

People are always saying life is unfair, life is hard, it’s all about “survival of the fittest”. With passion, I say, “Life can be great as it is”.

How often do you say that to yourself?

What kind of awesome things have I manifested through Bboying? Apart from great friends and something I love to do, Bboying set in motion a life for me I never thought possible, where I am always pushing myself and believing in myself.

When I was younger, I always felt that in order to gain something, you have to pay for it. When people help each other, it is always offered under certain conditions and expectations.

But when I found the Bboy culture I experienced unconditional love. I’ve learnt from the greats, who expected nothing from me in return. In our relatively small community of Bboys, I see dancers of all races, different ages and backgrounds coming together. With the same passion uniting us, it’s all love. We are just there to have fun.

This is something I think the world can truly learn from. Now I think, “passion is all you need in this world.” A bold statement.

But is it not true love is all you need? Now I believe that passion is love.

Find your passion. Go with the great feelings it brings. Pay it forward by sharing your passion with others so that they too can experience this love. This is my goal for myself.

I am a Bboy . . . and this is what we do.

Dear Mom, You Were Right, I Was Wrong

Jeremy McCarthy — Tue, 08 May 2012 11:51:56 +0000

Dear Mom, You Were Right, I Was Wrong, from The Psychology of Wellbeing

Dear Mom,

It is hard to fully appreciate your parents until you become one yourself. Although I consider myself to be a relatively mature, well-adjusted and even wise adult in my 40s, I did not fully understand nor appreciate your contribution to my life until having my own children in the past two years.

Having a child is life-changing—certainly one of the most impactful things to have ever happened to me—and it has transformed me in innumerable ways. One way is by the revelation (and I really found it a revelation) to realize how me coming into your life must have changed and transformed your life, and the sacrifices that you made to bring me into the world and then bring me up.

In fact, I can think of three profound revelations that I have had through this experience, and I want to make sure you know how this experience has made me see you in an entirely new way.

1. I appreciate your sacrifice. Being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done. But I take this challenge on at a very mature point in my life. I am in my 40s, I have a stable career and a steady income and I have a loving wife as a strong parenting partner. You took this challenge on in your 20s, raising two boys on your own, without nearly the economic resources that I have today. You also did this without Google or babycenter.com to provide you answers to every question you had along the way. Now I know how hard this really was and I admire you for the job you have done.

2. You were right, I was wrong. I can think of so many things from my childhood that I didn’t understand, didn’t agree with, or even resented you for. As children, you wouldn’t buy us sugary cereals, wouldn’t let us drink soda, you forced us to drink non-fat milk and you wouldn’t let us watch TV when we came home from school. I hated all of these rules and was envious of my friends who could come home from school, grab a Pepsi and a bowl of fruit loops, and plop down in front of some afternoon cartoons or Gilligan’s Island. Now as a parent of two toddlers I abhor the quantities of sugar in foods and I worry about how to keep my kids brains engaged in more meaningful activities than whatever is on the boob tube. Although it didn’t seem so at the time, I can now look back upon the countless times that I challenged your authority and see the simple truth: you were right and I was wrong.

3. You always chose the right thing over the easy thing. In a young mind, lacking long term perspective and filled with yearnings for a variety of things that are not healthy in the long run, it is easy to misunderstand the motives of parental supervision. Kids can feel controlled and subverted as if they are in an evil dictatorship. Now I look back and realize that you were not taking the easy route. You were making hard decisions and taking a stand for what would develop me into the best human being. I love you for that. I thank you for that.

I am only sorry that it took me this long to fully realize the scope of your sacrifice and contribution. I am proud of the men that my brother and I have become. And I am in awe of the job you were able to do as a parent and only hope that I will be able to do the same for my own children. I fully anticipate some karmic rebellion coming my way as the circle of life spins on, but am grateful for the tools you have given me to deal with it. Thank you for being not only a great mother, but a great role model.

Happy mother’s day Mamacita!

With all my love,

Jeremy (your #1 son)

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A Balanced Approach to Positive Leadership

Jeremy McCarthy — Tue, 01 May 2012 11:45:14 +0000

A Balanced Approach to Positive Leadership, from The Psychology of Wellbeing

Duality + Balance by H.Koppdelaney

Earlier this year, I taught my first semester of a new online course on Positive Leadership in Spas and Hospitality for the UC Irvine Extension certification program in Spa and Hospitality Management. Because it was an online course, it attracted an incredible diversity of students from all over the world. There was a good mix of students from Asia, Europe and North America. And the experience of the students varied greatly from massage therapists and estheticians who were interested in growing into management positions (or someday opening their own spas,) to spa directors of varying backgrounds and experience levels all the way up to the CEO and COO of a hospitality management company. I am proud of the fact that all of the students, regardless of geography or stage of their career, seemed to get a lot out of the course.

I think I have a unique approach to teaching positive leadership because, while I emphasize the importance of the positive (which is often neglected in business) I really teach a balanced approach to management. Rather than learning how to focus on positivity and avoid negativity, I teach them the importance of developing a leadership style that recognizes and learns from both sides of the coin.

Here are a few tips for a balanced approach to positive leadership:

1. Learning from strengths and weaknesses. I teach Appreciative Inquiry, David Cooperrider from Case Western Reserve University’s response to the more typical “Deficit Based” approach to management. Most businesses focus almost exclusively on fixing problems and overcoming obstacles. Appreciative Inquiry teaches us to analyze our strengths and learn how to do more of what we do best. But unlike Cooperrider, I don’t teach leaders to ignore their weaknesses. We still need to analyze our mistakes and tackle our biggest challenges, but we should learn from our strengths too.

Seagull Out of Balance by Fisserman

2. The negativity bias goes both ways. Human beings have a bias towards the negative. We notice the negative sooner and more often, and it impacts us more deeply than the equivalent experience on the positive side. For this reason, I teach a variety of positive appreciative approaches to remind us not to neglect the positive that is going on around us. But I also teach my students that they shouldn’t ignore the negativity bias. I draw a page from management guru and author of “Good Boss, Bad Boss,” Bob Sutton, who reminds us that our customers and employees also have a negativity bias. If we don’t notice and fix the problems that they are facing, this is what they will remember about us.

Positive Leadership by Kim Cameron

3. Stop trying to motivate employees. I do teach a slew of research from psychology on how to create the right conditions for intrinsic motivation (eg. self-determination theory) and a variety of other research-based tips for driving accomplishment and goal achievement. But I also teach that most employees are already motivated when they join your team. Managers think their role is to “motivate” their employees, but I think leaders would be better off by thinking about how to stop doing the things that strip away motivation. Humans have an inherent drive to do well. A good leader facilitates this in their team. It’s less about creating motivation and more about learning how not to demotivate the people who work with you.

4. Avoid the negativity witch hunt. I teach a variety of ways to create a more positive, more engaged work force. But I surprise my students when I tell them that they should create space for negativity in their organization. Managers who try to squelch negativity may be inadvertently closing off channels of communication. Sometimes negativity comes from passionate employees who are frustrated when things aren’t going well. A good leader needs to hear what’s not working from those who are passionate enough to care and speak up. Rather than suppress negativity, a positive leader should create a culture that allows for appropriate expression of negative feelings.

5. It’s not about creating happiness at work. I use a lot of positive psychology in my course, much of which is geared towards creating a workplace that people will enjoy working in and feel more fulfilled by. But I also teach that a happy workforce is not the end goal. Great work is often marked by great challenge and great sacrifice. Meaningful work is about accomplishing things that you passionately believe in, even when it doesn’t feel good. Happiness, if you find it, is just the icing on the cake.

If you are interested in learning more about a balanced approach to positive leadership, the course will be starting up again in June. I hope to see you there!

—

References and recommended reading (and the required text for my course:)

Cameron, K. (2008). Positive Leadership: Strategies for Extraordinary Performance. Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

by Jeremy McCarthy

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You Too Can Become a Musician: The Psychology of Talent

Jeremy McCarthy — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 11:28:05 +0000

You Too Can Become a Musician: The Psychology of Talent, from The Psychology of Wellbeing

Steve II by Nick Bedford

Do you have musical talent? Do you wish you did? A small percentage of us seem to have the gift of music but most (if not all) of us wish we had it. Whatever our favorite musical genre is, there is a natural tendency to admire our favorite musicians, listen raptly to the incredible sounds they are able to produce with their voice or their instrument, and to wish or imagine, if only for a moment, that maybe someday we too could produce such melodies.

But to the non-musically inclined, this can seem like an impossible mountain to climb. Music is often thought of as a “gift”, something you are either endowed with or not. When people describe themselves as having “no rhythm” or “no ear for music” or “tone deaf”, they generally think of these things as defining characteristics. They are talents you are either born with or not.

Gary Marcus, a psychology professor at NYU, was one of those poor souls born without a knack for music. But as a psychology professor he was familiar with a variety of research on skill development. Carol Dweck’s research on “Mindset” for example, which shows that people who believe that skill can be developed will be far more successful (evidence supporting the old saw, “whether you believe you can or can’t, you’re right.”) Or Anders Ericsson, who found that what separates the experts from the amateurs (in any field) is about 10,000 hours of deliberate practice.

Marcus decided to put it to the test in a personal way, and set out to see if a person with no musical talent could become a musician. He’s written a book about his journey, appropriately titled “Guitar Zero,” a reference to both his initial lack of talent and his addiction to the game “Guitar Hero,” which perhaps laid the foundation for his musical journey.

As you might imagine (because it would not be a very notable book otherwise,) Marcus succeeds in his quest to become a guitarist. But for anyone with a budding interest in music, his book is worth reading to see some of the conclusions he makes along the way.

The most important lesson of course, is that this kind of change is possible. We can become something we aren’t. We can change who we are. Talent can be cultivated.

I personally learned this powerful lesson as an awkward, bookish teenager, when I intentionally chose to become an athlete, and joined my high school swim team. That decision, and the subsequent transformation in my life, paved the way for me to pursue a great number of other successes including two black belts (in Hapkido and Tang Soo Do), learning to Salsa Dance, and even learning how to play the guitar. Carol Dweck is right. Once you believe change is possible, the world is your oyster.

But it’s not easy.

Aki Rock Paper Scissors by Hani Amir

My motto now is, “you can have anything you want, you just can’t have everything you want.” It takes hard work and sacrifice. It’s not just 10,000 hours, it’s 10,000 hours of intense, concentrated, repetitive, rigorous practice that creates expertise. As one of my old coaches used to say, “practice doesn’t make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect!”

Want to become a guitarist? A novelist? A motivational speaker? An elite athlete? A neurosurgeon? You can do any of the above, as long as you are willing to sacrifice many other things in your life to get there.

It’s not that talent doesn’t play a role at all. (See a critique of Ericsson’s 10,000 hours theory here.) Marcus pooh-poohs the simplicity of Malcolm Gladwell’s “Outliers” where he describes elite performance as the outcome of 1. extensive practice and 2.luck. Marcus notes that not all musicians develop the same way. Maybe some have a flair for finger speed, while others may have a unique ear for finding different kinds of harmonies.

Anyone can learn music. But having natural talent means you might pick things up quicker, or you might be able to go farther with your skills. Marcus cites an often overlooked study by Edwin Gordon, showing that talent predicted about half the variability in musical skill development in a group of students after three years of studying.

Anyone can become a musician. Not anyone can become the best musician. The good news is, you don’t have to be Paul McCartney to enjoy making music. Pick up a guitar, or a harmonica, or a microphone and start with 15 minutes a day of deliberate practice. For Marcus, myself, and countless others, playing music is not about becoming the next Jimi Hendrix. It’s about finding flow and simply enjoying life.

—

References and recommended reading:

Dweck, C. (2007). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Ballantine Books.

Gladwell, M. (2008). Outliers: The Story of Success. Little, Brown and Company.

Marcus, G. (2012). Guitar Zero: The New Musician and the Science of Learning. The Penguin Press HC.

by Jeremy McCarthy

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Why First Impressions Don’t Matter Much

Jeremy McCarthy — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 11:44:23 +0000

Why First Impressions Don’t Matter Much, from The Psychology of Wellbeing

Bellman by Leo Reynolds

A great article by Andrea Petersen appeared in the Wall Street Journal Travel section last week outlining the “Hidden Ways Hotels Court Guests Faster.” The article focused on all the ways that different hotel brands are trying to dazzle their guests with an excellent first impression.

Hotel industry executives (myself included) were likely to be very interested in this article as we often talk in this business about the importance of that first impression (or creating “a sense of arrival” as many in the industry refer to it.) It is for this reason that, upon arriving to a luxury hotel, you are often greeted in the lobby by a friendly face, an offer to assist with your luggage, and sometimes a welcome beverage or a refreshing chilled towel to help wipe away the stress of travel.

The guest room is another place where first impressions are thoughtfully considered. In luxury hotels, guests return to a room with the bed invitingly turned down, with chocolates or flowers on the pillow, the lighting and temperature conducive to relaxation, and soft music playing on the bedside radio.

turndown service by juandazeng

The examples Petersen lists in her article include the receptionists at the Trump Hotel in Chicago coming out from behind their desk to greet guests with a handshake, DoubleTree Hotels doling out warm chocolate-chip cookies at check-in, or the Peninsula Chicago leaving deluxe welcome amenities for their guests’ children.

These are all great examples, but the ironic thing about all of this attention on the “sense of arrival” is that it probably doesn’t make much of an impact on the guests’ overall experience. Psychology research shows that people don’t really remember experiences by how they begin, they remember the peak moments, and then they remember how they end.

Peak-End Rule by Daniel Kahneman

An example of the research that supports this “peak-end” theory, is the work on colonoscopy patients done by psychologist Daniel Kahneman. Kahneman found that after a painful colonoscopy treatment, patients would forget about the overall duration of the pain they experienced and would instead remember their experience based on the peak moments of pain and on how it ended.

A patient whose colonoscopy lasted an agonizing 25 minutes, for example (Patient B), would rate the experience better and would happily come back a year later for his follow-up appointment, as long as the treatment ended with less pain. Another patient (Patient A), who only had around 8 minutes of total pain, wouldn’t come back next year because he remembers the pain of how the experience ended.

So hotels should be thinking much more about the “sense of departure” than they do about the sense of arrival, because this is how their guests will remember them. The helpful bellmen, tropical welcome drinks, and chocolates on pillows will be completely superseded by the guests’ experience of schlepping their own luggage back down to the lobby, waiting on line to check out, and haggling over discrepancies on the bill. This is the part that hotels need to get right.

We’ve all heard of the importance of making a good first impression, and it’s probably good advice. But your lasting impression is your last impression, so think about that one twice.

(Note: yes, the rhyme was intentional )

—

References and recommended reading:

Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking, Fast and Slow. Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

by Jeremy McCarthy

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Just Be a Parent

Jeremy McCarthy — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 11:45:19 +0000

Just Be a Parent, from The Psychology of Wellbeing

Being a parent is not easy. I would say it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s also the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. (I talk about this “parental paradox” in my article on “The Peaks of Parenting.”)

The challenges are great. To put it simply, being a parent takes time and energy on an order of magnitude far beyond what any non-parent could possibly understand (I certainly didn’t before I had kids!)

I am particularly challenged recently because I am busier than I have ever been (even without taking the kids into account.) I am teaching an online course on Positive Leadership through U.C. Irvine, I am in the process of publishing my school capstone thesis on “The Psychology of Spas and Wellbeing” as an ebook (coming soon!), I am managing my blog and posting a new article every week, and of course I have my real job, as a corporate director of spas for a large hospitality company.

This year, my wife and I welcomed our second son into my crazy life. So we have been in the throes of those crazy first few months, when a new parent experiments with the boundaries of human functioning through sleep deprivation. The past months have been a bleary eyed blur of diaper changes, late night feeding sessions, family visits and of course occasional transcendent moments of sheer love and joy with our new baby.

And this week, my first son has been sick. So layer on to all of the above a feverish, clingy, sweaty, snotty, crying boy, who doesn’t even know what he wants–he just knows he wants something to help him feel better (this means constantly cycling through cries for “mommy”, “daddy” and “Elmo” as he tries to find comfort.)

One thing I learned since day one of being a parent, is that things don’t always go as planned. It is easy in these moments to get frustrated as deadlines loom, projects back up and the kids are clamoring for more and more attention. Sometimes it seems as though every time I’m just about to get some work done, one of the boys is needing something. It’s easy to feel as if the kids are getting in the way.

I’ve found a mindfulness exercise to be a great help during these moments. I call it “just be a parent” and it is about as simple as it sounds. When one of my children is in need, it is time for me to forget about work, projects and deadlines, and spend some time just being a parent.

Here’s how it works:

1. I put away whatever else I’m doing and invite myself to participate in whatever my son wants to do. For my older son that might mean reading a book, playing with blocks or watching Sesame Street and fast forwarding through all the parts that don’t feature Elmo. My younger son might need a diaper or a cuddle or a song. It doesn’t matter what they need, just that I become fully engaged in providing it.

2. Then, I cycle through my senses:

I listen intently. I try to hear their breathing. I try to hear their eyelids opening and closing. I notice whatever sounds are going on around us and see if they notice them too (they usually notice far more than I do.)
Then I focus on my sense of touch, stroking their skin or running my fingers through their hair. I hold them against me and try to feel every instance of contact to the fullest.
Then I turn my attention to smell, burying my nose in their hair or in the nape of their neck and trying to breathe in their essence and notice everything I can about the sensation.
Finally, I soak it all in visually. I try to sear the image of the moment into my brain, being sure to record every detail. I look at my sons and try to notice something about them that I’ve never noticed before.

3. Then I might experiment with experiencing multiple senses all at once. Can I see and hear them perfectly? Or smell and feel them? Adding more than two senses and it starts to fall apart, but I try to fully experience the moment .

When I practice “just being a parent,” it feels magic. The most amazing thing is recognizing the mindfulness of the children. For them, there really is only this moment. They are not thinking about what happened yesterday or their plans for tomorrow. They are just right there with you. When I stare into their eyes focusing all my attention on them, I see them staring right back with the same level of intensity. For me, mindfulness is an “exercise,” something that requires effort. For them, it is who they are.

Sometimes all they need is a moment of mindfulness. If they can get my full, undivided attention, even just for a moment, it gives them the security to know they can also release me. They can let me go back to my world of deadlines and “grown-up” projects that seem important but really aren’t. Having that moment of mindfulness reminds us both what is most important, and that if they do let me go. . . I will be back soon. And there is no place I would rather be.

by Jeremy McCarthy

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The Peaks of Parenting

Innovation Lessons from the Idea Factory

Jeremy McCarthy — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 11:55:32 +0000

Innovation Lessons from the Idea Factory, from The Psychology of Wellbeing

Before Twitter, before Facebook, before Google, and before Apple, there was Bell Labs:

“From its beginnings in the 1920s until its demise in the 1980s, Bell Labs—officially, the research and development wing of AT&T—was the biggest, and arguably the best, laboratory for new ideas in the world. From the transistor to the laser, from digital communications to cellular telephony, it’s hard to find an aspect of modern life that hasn’t been touched by Bell Labs.”

–Jon Gertner, The Idea Factory

When I was offered a review copy of “The Idea Factory: Bell Labs and the Great Age of American Innovation,” I normally would have passed. Although I did write previously about the origins of “radical, game-changing innovation,” it’s always a stretch to link innovation to “the psychology of wellbeing” and I already have a backlog of books to read that are more apropos. That being said, I had just been invited to speak at the Global Spa and Wellness Summit this June at the Aspen Institute, and this year’s theme just happens to be “Innovation through Imagination.”

So my intention was to get into a creativity mindset while learning about one of the most fascinating and innovative companies of the last century. While we don’t hear much about it today, Bell Labs brought together some of the greatest scientific minds in American history for the sole purpose of investigating and experimenting with new technologies. The scope and quantity of new innovations, which include the transistor, the laser and the solar cell, literally brought the world into the information age and laid the foundation for many of the technologies that are so ubiquitous today.

I was lucky in the sense that:

a. Gertner’s writing is engaging and the story is a fascinating account of an important period in the history of technology, and

b. it was easier than I thought it would be to draw relevant lessons that could be applied to my work with the spa and wellness industries (I’ll get to that in a moment.)

Now that Bell Labs has laid the foundation for what it takes to drive innovation, we are not surprised to see that modern technology companies basically follow the same model: they hire the best scientists and engineers they can attract, and then create an environment where they can bounce ideas off each other, tearing them down, building them up, and often veering off in completely new directions.

Innovation by Thomas Hawk

It’s clear that we understand the need for applied sciences in the technological industries, but what about service and wellness industries? Although I don’t think most people think about it this way, reading “The Idea Factory” reaffirmed my own strategy of studying and applying the science of psychology to the spa experience.

The “product innovation” that the spa industry needs is not a new lotion or cream, it’s not a new piece of equipment, and it’s not a new kind of spa treatment. The “technology” of the spa industry is about enhancing human wellbeing. And since the spa industry sets itself apart from other healing institutions in our society by having a holistic approach (i.e. one that considers mental and spiritual wellbeing in addition to physical wellbeing,) it makes sense that we would use the science of psychology to drive this innovation.

This will be the topic of my talk at GSWS and I’ll be sharing the stage with three other incredible panelists: introducing us via video will be Andrew Weil, integrative medicine thought-leader and author of “Spontaneous Happiness”, along with Jessica Alquist, a researcher who works with Roy Baumeister, the author of “Willpower” (and one of my former–and most personally influential—psychology professors), and a third speaker (to be confirmed but most likely a psychology professor and expert in human consciousness.)

I think our discussion, and really the entire three-day summit will, much like Bell Labs, be a time and place for current paradigms to be challenged, new ideas to be incubated, and new directions to be explored.

Just Full of Ideas by Cayusa

Here’s what research director Mervin Kelly imagined for Bell Labs: “a great institution with the capacity for both research and development—a place where a ‘critical mass’ of scientists could exchange all kinds of information and consult with one another for explanations.”

Economists have always believed that the forces of market competition would be sufficient to drive innovation. But reading “The Idea Factory,” you can’t help but be persuaded by Gertner’s notion that “creative environments that foster a rich exchange of ideas are far more important.” I look forward to having that kind of exchange at the Global Spa and Wellness Summit.

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References and recommended reading:

Gertner, J. (2012). The Idea Factory: Bell Labs and the Great Age of American Innovation. The Penguin Press.

Four Ways to Enhance Workplace Wellness

Stephanie Andel — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 11:44:50 +0000

Four Ways to Enhance Workplace Wellness, from The Psychology of Wellbeing

I met Rachel Permuth-Levine, a Senior Director of Research for Sodexo on a Workplace Wellness discussion group on LinkedIn and was fascinated by some of the research they were developing. This article was written by Stephanie Andel, a toLive Research Scholar at Sodexo and a senior at Bradley University where she is studying Psychology and Spanish. She is pursuing her PhD in Industrial/Organizational Psychology.

smile by andypeters

We keep hearing about wellness in the workplace, but what does that really mean? In order to answer that question, it is necessary to distinguish between the concepts of organizational well-being and psychological well-being. Organizational well-being involves a collective wellness within the organization that is driven by concepts such as collaboration, respect for diversity, and fairness. Psychological well-being, on the other hand, involves the wellness and health of specific individuals in the workplace. While organizational well-being is vital to the success of organizations, it is virtually impossible to attain without fostering psychological well-being among employees.

Researchers (Richmond et al, 2006) found that job-related stress and job dissatisfaction is evident in those who work in environments with little managerial support. In fact, in a survey of over 90,000 employees, management’s interest in the well-being of employees was one of the main factors for motivation (Gallup, 2011). The question then becomes: how do we cultivate a workplace filled with enhanced psychological well-being? What can managers do to ensure that their employees are happy and healthy?

There are many ways that managers can approach this issue. The 2012 Sodexo Workplace Trends Report outlines various methods in which management can focus upon employee wellness, such as (1) clearly stating expectations, (2) allowing flexibility in the workplace, (3) recognizing employees for their efforts, and (4) providing opportunities for personal development within the workplace can have a serious impact on employees’ motivation and job satisfaction. All of these components tie into the psychological well-being of employees

Clearly Stating Expectations

celebration by optimal tweezers

Gallup (2002) found that basic health begins with employees simply knowing what is expected of them. It is important to make sure that expectations are clearly defined. This can enhance the credibility of the organization to the employee, and assures that employees will not have to spend so much time trying to figure out their basic duties and tasks.

According to Heidi Hastings-Brien of Sodexo Motivation Solutions, employees also have a fundamental need to be able to make their own decisions. Employees benefit from having some autonomy in their workand getting the chance to have a say in how they do their jobs.

Creating a Flexible Workplace Environment

Allowing employees to adjust work hours if necessary or to work outside of the office (may it be from home or the local coffee shop) will help so that one’s work experience is more manageable and realistic. One study recently conducted by Moen and colleagues (2011) demonstrated that a flexible workplace can enhance well-being through allowing employees to enjoy increased sleep and helping them to spend more time on family and personal pursuits.

Recognizing and Rewarding Employees for Their Efforts

Recognizing employees for their hard work and accomplishments is vital when it comes to enhancing employees’ experience at work. Not only does this boost employees’ self-esteem and morale, but it also increases their motivation.

Interestingly enough, it is not just monetary rewards that engage employees. Rather, providing rewards that will enhance employees’ lives outside of the workplace–such as tickets to a sporting event or free childcare for a night—can be just as beneficial. “Once the monetary and environmental needs of an employee have been satisfied – reasonable salary, physical comfort and security – other factors become important, such as the need for recognition, opportunities for development, creativity, and so on,” notes Jennifer Tekin, also from Sodexo. “In the past ‘carrot and stick’ incentives worked towards organizational goal attainment. But today, using stress as a motivator is counterintuitive to aligning the workforce with the company’s mission. Managers now focus on empowerment, flexibility, and well-being to achieve a culture of recognition and high employee engagement.”

Fostering Employee Growth

David Ballard of the American Psychological Association explains that it is also important to integrate into the workplace opportunities for employees to gain new skills and grow in their career. If workers feel that they are “stuck” and that there is no chance for improvement, they are not likely to be as motivated to be productive. However, if employees are given opportunities for their personal growth and development within the company– whether it is through opportunities to travel, attend seminars, or assignments to new tasks–they will have increased motivation to work hard and stay productive.

Ultimately, there is no “cookbook” recipe for how to create a productive and satisfactory work environment. Each company exudes a very different culture and atmosphere, and therefore it is absolutely necessary to make wellness initiatives that are compatible with your specific corporation. Regardless of what these initiatives might be, however, there is no doubt that multiple ways exist in which supervisors can successfully foster psychological well-being in the workplace.

Anxiety: It’s Not What You Have, It’s What You Do

Jeremy McCarthy — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 11:47:49 +0000

Anxiety: It’s Not What You Have, It’s What You Do, from The Psychology of Wellbeing

“If we don’t recognize what is going on in our heads we find it easy to assume that somehow our anxieties come to us ready made from the outside. It can feel as though they are happening to us and that they are caused by something outside of us.”

Who wants to live forever? by AndWhyNot

According to Charles Merrett, clinical psychology as a treatment for anxiety doesn’t really work the way we’d like it to. And he should know . . . he’s been a clinical psychologist for more than 35 years. His recent book, “The Origin of Anxieties” is a culmination of what he’s learned about stress over the years and why the way most of us think about it is dead wrong.

The way people think and speak about anxiety (“EverydaySpeak” as Merrett calls it) is as if it is a condition, or something that has “happened” to you. The problem with this perspective is it relinquishes all control over the situation and makes people victims of their anxieties.

Merrett uses the example of “The Speeding Car” to illustrate his point. If you were standing in the middle of the road as a speeding car came headed straight towards you, you would be experiencing a great deal of anxiety. But if you were wearing your iPod headphones and had your back turned as the car bore down on you, you wouldn’t experience any anxiety at all. In other words, the anxiety is not in the car or in the situation, it is in you.

It is only when you become aware of the car and begin to attach significant meaning to the situation that the anxiety comes into play. Anxiety is not what we have it’s what we do. In some situations, “doing” anxiety can be helpful. (Preparing your body to leap out of the way of an oncoming car would be one good example.)

But attaching meaning to something has another effect also. Once we attach meaning to something we begin to notice it more. If we interpret something as stressful, not only do we “do anxiety” in response, but we also begin to pay more attention to it, leading to even more anxiety.

Merrett also explains how our brains have evolved to explore possibilities or to imagine things that aren’t true. This ability allows us to hope and plan for the future, to be creative and to innovate, and to test ideas in our minds before applying them in the real world. But it also allows us to worry, as we imagine potentially negative “what if” scenarios in our future.

i was always so certain of what i'd do by Meredith_Farmer

“Our minds are rarely idle. If we are not engaged in some immediate task we spend much of our time going over the past or trying to imagine some aspect of the future.”

If we don’t understand how anxiety works, we are likely to be confused as to why we are feeling the way we are feeling: “Why do I feel this way?” “Why is this happening to me?” But if we understand this is something our minds are doing to test possibilities, then we can consider other possibilities. We can choose to focus our minds on different things. Anxiety is not what we have it’s what we do.

Merrett’s book serves a troubleshooting manual for the mind. If you know that anxiety is not what you have, but what you do, you can choose when and how much you will do it. I’m not an advocate of eliminating anxiety entirely (see my article on “the pain.”) For me, it’s more about developing your psychological flexibility and your ability to be master of your own mind, rather than a slave to it.

Have you been doing anxiety lately? Maybe it’s time to take back control of your mind.

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References and recommended reading:

Merrett, C. (2011). The Origin of Anxieties. Minds Eye Books.

by Jeremy McCarthy

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